If a woman does not wish to abort but is not in good circumstances to parent her child, adoption is a good option. She can go to an agency or find a couple privately that she wishes to place her child with. After the child is born, she relinquishes her parental rights to him or her. Many times, a woman can choose the kind of relationship she will have with her child after placing for adoption. If she wants to have contact via letters or visits, she can place with a couple who seeks the same kind of relationship. Open adoptions have been very successful in both helping the birth mother’s grief and answering questions for adoptees. If she does not want to have any contact with the child, she doesn’t have to.
Adoption can be wonderful, but it is also associated with a lot of grief. Placing a child for adoption means that you are no longer their mother, and that can be very painful. Many women struggle with that loss throughout their lives. Adoption is a permanent decision. A birth mother can’t change her mind later on and regain custody of the child.
Terminating the pregnancy is another option. Some women believe that abortion is the best option and don’t feel that they can (or want to) parent, and adoption seems either too painful or hard to explain.
Abortion is a complicated topic, and many people have strong opinions on whether it is ethical or moral. If a woman does not see any moral issues with abortion and feels it’s right for her and her child, she should contact her medical provider.
An unplanned pregnancy automatically makes a mother. If that mother feels that it is in her child’s best interest that she parent, she should do so. If possible, she should work with the baby’s father to ensure that the child grows up with stability, both financially and emotionally. Regardless of his involvement, if a woman wants to parent, there is always a way. There are government assistance programs, churches, family, and many other kinds of support groups for single moms.
Parenting is not without its challenges. If the parents are not a couple, custody and child support can become an issue. Some children may also suffer from the lack of a father figure. Handling the stresses of single parenting is harder than parenting with someone else. Even with assistance programs, making sure the child has his or her needs met can be a struggle. Single parenting is incredibly difficult, but it can be done.
None of these options are perfect. They each have their pros and cons. When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, there is rarely an ‘ideal’ situation. It’s a matter of making the best of it. Being objective and taking careful stock of the circumstances you are in is the best way to decide which of these three options is right for you and your child. If you prioritize the best interest of your child, you can’t go wrong.