Life is full of unexpected experiences. My goodness, the entire 2020 year is one unexpected thing after another.
When a woman finds herself unexpectedly pregnant or a man finds that he has unexpectedly impregnated a woman, he or she may need some help. Finding unplanned pregnancy counseling is as easy as a few clicks on the keyboard. The internet has a lot of resources for people in this situation such as articles offering helpful information and websites for adoption agencies that have counselors ready and available to talk with the expectant parent about their options.
Help Making a Decision
You have options about what you can do. There are three options you will learn about in unplanned pregnancy counseling, each of these options have various things that need to be considered. Having a counselor who can help you understand the possible outcomes of each of these decisions can be invaluable. Your options are:
- Parent – You can choose to keep the baby and parent him or her yourself. Some questions to consider and to discuss with a counselor and/or your support network include:
- Do you have sufficient help to support your child?
- Does the father or mother want to co-parent with you?
- Does your family support you in your parenting decision and can they help you raise the child?
- Do you have a stable job or income?
- Do you have a home for the child?
- Will you be happy changing your current life to include a child?
- Will you need to completely overhaul your life to take care of a child?
These and many more questions need to be considered before making a decision.
- Abortion – This is one of the options available to those facing unexpected pregnancies. Many people think that abortion is an easy and quick solution to an unplanned pregnancy. These same people may think that after a simple procedure they will just move on with their life. However, this is not always the case.
Some people who choose abortion regret the decision and suffer remorse and sadness for years afterward. In fact, many places have started offering post-abortion support to help people deal with the mental and emotional trauma that an expectant parent can experience during and after an abortion. Sadly, it is not always an experience that is easily forgotten.
Another issue to consider are the side effects of an abortion. Abortions are medical procedures and because of that, there are risks and side effects that can and do happen. These risks include infection, perforation of the uterus, damage to internal organs, and in extreme cases death. Those willing to take the risks can choose abortion.
- Adoption – The last choice that an expectant parent has is adoption. It can be a hard decision to place a child through adoption, and many expectant parents view the decision as giving up their baby. However, choosing to place your child through adoption is choosing to give your baby a better life.
Making this choice today does not mean you will never hear from or see your child again. In fact, many adoptions are semi-open or open. This means that you will at the very least receive regular updates about your child and how they are doing. Or it could mean that you have regular contact with your child and his or her adoptive family. The relationship will depend upon you and the adoptive family. Of course if you do not want to continue with a relationship after adoption, you can choose to have a closed adoption.
Although you know the options that will be discussed in an unplanned pregnancy counseling, you may not know which choice you should choose. Speaking to those people and organizations that are trained to help you during an unplanned pregnancy will give you needed information to help you come to the right decision.
Who Can Help
Some people may be able to receive help from his or her partner, parents, family, or friends. This support system can help take them to doctors appointments and hold their hand throughout the decision making process and after. No matter what choice an expectant parent choices, they will need support. However, if an expectant mother chooses to parent or place their child through adoption, then they will need their support network to help them deal with all of the physical and emotional changes to their body during pregnancy and after. Every pregnancy and delivery is different but no matter how easy or difficult your pregnancy is, you will need a good support network to help you through the entire experience.
Unfortunately, there are some expectant parents that do not have a great support system to rely on. They may have been kicked out of the house for becoming pregnant or recently broke up with their partner. In situations where you do not have a support group, and even sometimes when you do, it can be beneficial to receive unplanned pregnancy counseling. This counseling can be found through crisis pregnancy centers, adoption centers, adoption attorney’s, and/or licensed therapists.
Crisis pregnancy centers are often christian non-profit organizations that are established to help women deal with unplanned pregnancies. These centers will not encourage a woman to have an abortion, but they offer counseling and help for the other two options. Adoption centers can help you throughout your pregnancy and afterwards. They offer many resources to help expectant mothers place their child with a loving family. Adoption attorney’s vary in what they can offer expectant parents, but they handle all of the legal aspects of an adoption. Licensed therapists can help an expetectant parent to work through the emotions of an unexpected pregnancy.
How they Help
The various places listed above have diverse resources and services for unplanned pregnancy counseling. Checking with any organization to know how they can help you is important. Even though you may feel powerless, you are not. You can decide who you want to work with and what you want to do. If you start working with a crisis pregnancy center and you are not comfortable or happy, then you can change and work with a different one or with an adoption center. The choices should be yours because this is your life and you will live with the results of those decisions the rest of your life.
Some of the services that crisis pregnancy centers offer include:
- Pregnancy tests
- Medical related pregnancy services
- Parenting classes
- Adoption resources
Not every crisis pregnancy center has all of these services and we recommend calling your local center to see what they can offer and how they can help you.
Some of the services that adoption centers offer include:
- Housing options if needed
- Support groups for women who are considering adoption
- Support getting to doctor’s appointments
- Help with the expenses of the pregnancy
- Help finding an adoptive family for your child
- Legal help to finalize the adoption
- Support after the adoption is finalized
- Goal planning for the future
Each adoption center has different services that they offer and we recommend that you investigate each one to see how they can help you achieve your goals. Choose the one that you feel the most comfortable with and that does not pressure you into making a decision.
Some of the services that an adoption attorney offers include:
- Help to legally finalize a private adoption
- Help to legally finalize a foster-care adoption
- Help for adoptive parent’s during the entire adoption process
- Help to legally finalize an international adoption
- Sometimes they provide support for the birth parents in terms of counseling before and/or after the adoption
As with the other two places, we recommend you contact the attorney’s office you are considering to see what services they offer. Additionally, if you do not feel comfortable with the attorney or feel pressured to make a decision you do not want, then please find someone else.
Loss of Control
One of the worst things about an unplanned pregnancy is the thought that you are not in control of your life. Unexpected life events have a way of making people feel powerless about their own lives and that can be a very scary thing. The best counselors for people facing unplanned pregnancies will help the expectant parent see their options and realize that he or she does have control in his or her life. The expectant parent can control what he or she does about the child. He or she decides what they want for the child’s future and for his or her own future. There are decisions that only he or she can and should make. When finding unplanned pregnancy counseling, make sure that you find someone that does not pressure you to make a specific decision.
Support to Cope with Emotions
Even before making a decision, there are a lot of strong emotions to deal with during an unplanned pregnancy. Seeking unplanned pregnancy counseling can help you to cope with those emotions. The counseling can come from professionals, but there are also others who can help. Parents, although not always happy about an unplanned pregnancy, can be extremely helpful in providing you with support and honest opinions about what is best for you and your child. If your parent is wondering how they can help, then refer them to this article for some ideas. Unplanned pregnancies are challenging times for anyone and you can use all the support that you can get.
After getting over the shock of an unplanned pregnancy (if it is even possible for you get over the shock), one of the emotions that you may feel next is worry. The list of worries can include:
- What will other people think of me?
- How can I handle being pregnant?
- What is it like to be pregnant?
- What should I do?
- How do I tell people?
- When should I tell people?
- How will my partner react?
- How can I afford this?
- How will my parents react?
- How will this change my life?
Your worry may even escalate to concern or fear about all of these concerns. Being pregnant can be challenging when it is planned, but becoming pregnant unexpectedly amplifies all of the concerns because you have not had time to think about any of them. The experience comes as a surprise that you have not planned for at all.
All of these worries and thoughts are normal and it is important to acknowledge that. However, you do not have to continue worrying about those things. You can find help and support and overcome the fears that you have so that you can move forward and make decisions for yourself and for your child. Sometimes you may need some extra support to do this, though. Don’t be afraid to reach out for that help or accept help that is offered.
The most important thing to remember during your entire unplanned pregnancy is that you are in control. You make the decisions about what you want for your future and your child’s future. The next important thing to remember is that help is available and there are many resources for unplanned pregnancy counseling. There are options counselors at adoption centers who would love to help you think through and discuss your difficult circumstances. They want to explain your choices and provide support for your decisions. These adoption and unplanned pregnancy centers exist to help men and women who are facing unplanned pregnancies to deal with their challenging circumstances.
Finding unplanned pregnancy counseling is a simple matter of a few clicks on the computer and a telephone call. The links attached to this article provide additional resources and information to help you find couseling to learn about your options. The clinics and centers that offer their services want you to feel supported and loved. They want to help you during one of the most difficult times in your life to feel empowered and move forward with confidence in your difficult choice for this situation.
You can handle this surprise and you are strong enough to make the difficult decisions that you will be faced with. You are not alone in this experience because many others have faced the same situation. They have been able to handle the unplanned pregnancy and so can you.