At least half of all pregnancies are unplanned, even in an age where sex and contraception education are becoming more normal. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, the stars align and a baby is produced. There come a crossroads of decision-making when this happens. Many questions are asked: Can I find the resources and ability to parent this child in spite of a lack of planning, or is adoption an option I need to consider? For me personally, my unplanned pregnancy resulted in an adoption plan.
At this point, three years post-placement, my story seems old hat. I had lost both of my parents and was trying—for the first time—to live as an adult with a full-time job, a full-time school schedule, and first long-term relationship. Losing my mom had been a crushing blow, and a week and a half after her passing, I found out I was pregnant. Despite the love I felt for this child, it wasn’t enough to give him everything I thought that he deserved. My boyfriend and I decided that adoption was a decision we needed to make.
My boyfriend knew a little about adoption, but his knowledge stemmed from the law and process in another, very different state. Google proved less helpful than I would have hoped as well. But, perhaps this was all fated. When I decided to get serious about finding an adoptive family for our son, I opened up my laptop to Facebook. The first thing in my newsfeed was the adoption page of a local family that had adopted, and I decided to message them to ask questions and inquire about their experience. Within a few hours, I seriously loved them. After talking for a month and meeting in person, we chose them to be our son’s parents and have continued a relationship through open adoption.
None of it was easy. It was one of the hardest, most emotionally and mentally challenging things I’ve ever done. But, when I visit with my son or receive pictures of how happy and healthy he is, all that I’ve felt has been worth it. I hope that when the time comes for him to understand his adoption, we are able to answer his questions and be there for any feelings he may have.
If you find yourself in an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption, please know that you are not alone, and there are people out there who understand how you’re feeling because they have lived it. Try to find someone to connect with that can answer your questions and help you to better decide if an adoption plan is right for you and your child. Make decisions based out of love rather than fear, and I don’t believe you can go wrong. Visit Adoption.com/profiles to look at adoption profiles of hopeful adoptive parents and families.