Having a baby should always be a joyous occasion, however, some people do not welcome the birth of a child. Many grandparents are traditional and will only accept a child in the confines of marriage. Some grandparents may be very religious and only accept a grandchild if both parents are active in their religion. While this can cause headaches for you and your family down the road, you are not subject to do what will make your parents happy. Here’s some advice for dealing with this situation.
Try having a conversation with your parents and understanding where they are coming from. Maybe you aren’t married and your parents are worried that you will be stuck caring for this child alone. Easing their fears with your plan may help them come around. Maybe your parents do not like your partner because they see red flags. In that case, listening to their sage wisdom may do you some good. Try to listen and decide if your parents are just being selfish, or if they honestly love you and are concerned.
Have a battle plan. If you are unsure of the father, do not put a father’s name on the birth certificate. Putting down an incorrect name will cause major legal and financial issues down the line. It’s okay to just have a mother listed on the birth certificate. If you are unsure if you can care for a child on your own, you can look into adoption. Speaking to an adoption agency and other adoptees don’t mean you have to choose adoption. If you have career goals in mind, like finishing school, or getting a graduate degree, speak to your employer or school guidance and see what your options are. Your employer may assist with costs associated with daycare, or your school may offer free daycare on campus and other flexible options for mothers. You may be able to enroll in a school program for single mothers that allows you the flexibility to work while you are attending school.
Enlist support. If your parents aren’t on board, maybe you can find support from other single mothers, girlfriends, your partner, or a local church. Blood doesn’t always make a family, sometimes love and friendship is what you need to be a successful mother. While it goes take a village to raise a child, you may find that village in unexpected ways.
Do your research and find out what resources are available in your community. You may be able to enroll your child in a program such as Big Brothers, Big Sisters, YMCA, etc. where your child will be able to have relationships with other loving adults.